The opposite of bourgeois

Email Scam:

Subject: From Madam Mary Harley
Date: Thu, 29 May 2008 17:56:41 +0100
From: madam_mary@acornexpressservices.co.uk

From Madam Mary Harley
Here writes Mary Harley suffering from cancerous ailment.

When my late behalf was alive he left huge amount of money which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market. Presently, the investment portfolio is still on April this year. Recently, my doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from, so, I decided to contact you due to time limit.

Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husband's effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

It is often said that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy persons and I do not want my husband hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be with the Almighty when I eventually pass on. The Almighty will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husband relatives around me but I will give you telephone number of an attorney that will draft the letter of Introduction and all other legal documents as soon as I hear from you.

I want you to stand as the new beneficiary to the funds. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the firm where the funds are being deposited in Europe.

I will also send you a letter of introduction that will empower you as the new the custodian and beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein.

Please send all emails to my confidential emails below:
madam_mary@live.co.uk
madam_mary@yahoo.cn

And also let me know how soon you will be able to travel to Germany or United Kingdom. Endeavor to send me your names, address, telephone and fax number to enable contact you with more details/all the relevant documents by email/ fax.

My Reply:

Miss Madam Mary Harley,

I apologize that it's taken me so long to get back to you. You didn't say what your time limit was, but hopefully you're still alive. I know after my grandmother had a stroke she had trouble checking her many email addresses, but you seem in good spirits despite your horrific health issues. I myself am a barren-woman, so I would be happy to accept your husband's fortune. While I could try and use some of the money to help find a cure for whatever left me ruined inside, I'll probably just use it to buy myself a down-trodden, orphan baby. That way I'm killing a whole flock of birds with one stone.

My family is the opposite of bourgeois. In fact, my grandfather used to say, "Blessed is the hand that giveth the reach-around." Of course, he was arrested in a man's toilet for trying to give oral treats to an undercover policeman. However, he was later acquitted when it turned out that the officer didn't tell him he was cop, until after he had finished his business down Grandfather's throat. Luckily, Grandpa didn't swallow and spit the evidence in the prosecutor's face, while being cross-examined on the witness stand a week later.

That being said, you don't have to worry about the money being spent on anything ungodly. My late husband was even the Preacher at our church. Our congregation said he handled those poisonous snakes better than anyone they'd ever seen. But then the stupid hospital ended up injecting him with rattlesnake antivenin, when we clearly told them he was bitten by cobras.

Speaking of which, I know you said you're not afraid of death, but maybe you should be. My husband used to say that cancer is God's way of labeling sinners, so you might not want to count your prayers before they hatch. I can't even imagine the things you must've done to warrant a stroke. Either way, your husband's money will be in much better hands, once it's in my hands.

I don't like attorneys, since the one who helped us sue the hospital for malpractice ended up going to Bermuda with all of our winnings. Is there any way that you could empower my son to be a custodian? He could use a good job and likes to clean. I think he has OCD, because he's constantly asking me to clean his sheets. Every morning with the sheets!

While I think you are a nice lady, I don't know if people will want to emulate you, as most of them would prefer to not die of cancer. However, I do promise to act as you have stated herein and I will be prayerful.

I can fly to Germany as soon as you want, as I'm currently dating a pilot who flies for Lufthansa. He's always telling me how nice it is over there, but he also likes when I go number two on his chest, so who knows.

Please contact me with the forms that you need me to fill out, as I would really like your money. I can't stress this enough. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Gently yours,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply:

From: madam_mary@live.co.uk
Subject: Dear Scamtastic
Date: Sun, 1 Jun 2008 09:19:17 +0000

Dear Scamtastic

I received your mail. I quite appreciate your readiness, kindness and willingness to assist me accomplish my very last wishes in this world.

I have deliberated on it and agreed to commence with you 100% percent without any reservation.

I assure you that this transaction is risk free and it will not cause us any pains and problem if and only if you act strictly as instructed and let this transaction remain as secret as possible. Before we commence, I will want you to answer the following questions:

1. Will you be able to travel to Hamburg, Germany/London, UK to recieve his funds from the security company and when? Alternatively, can you handle this transaction online banking but you shall bear the related cost or bear the cost of courier.
2. Do you have any proposal to distribute this funds to the less priviledge? and
3. Are your ready and willing to foot your bills to Europe and other expenses as I have suffered this in the past by sending money for expenses and I will not hear from he/she again? And more so, I have exhausted all funds/ avenues to raise funds. I am at the point of death now, so do not let me down.

You have to understand due to the present situation I am now, I will not be able to foot any bill regarding this transaction. So, you shall be reimburse every expenses incured in due course of this transaction. Please answer the questions above so that I can commence this transaction on time. I will send to you all the relevant documents relating to this transaction and the contact details of SECURITY COMPANY.

I cannot use any of my business associates because all my past dealings are being scrutinized by secret agents in a bid to source out our estates and properties. So in the process of this exercise, anyone I’ve had dealings with in the past is being monitored too. I’m presently on a sick bed and the only means of communicating for now is via the internet, so I had to source for help the only way I could, I would rather take chances by involving a total stranger rather than risking it all by using any of my business associates who might be willing to help.

I am presently in India awaiting a magor surgical operation in few days time, so I beg of you to do everything in Godly way for time essence.

Please, you have to keep this transaction very confidential due to the composition of my husband family, I do not want any member of our family to jump on the funds to use it for immaterial things.

You can keep 15% to yourself and distributed the remaining balance of 5Million Pound Sterling to the less privelidge in good faith.

Endeavor to send/ reconfirm your full names, address and telephone number to my attorney and this will enable him refer you for immediate payment.
Here is my attorney contact details below:

CONTACT NAMES: WILLIAMS JADOME
Tel: 44 161 880 0415
Email: williamsjadome@hotmail.com

You are to contact my attorney with the requested information above and this will enable him prepare a letter of Introduction in your names and send you the certificate of Deposit by email before the major surgical operation. This is very important.

Feel free to ask Mr. Willams any question regarding this transaction.

I await your immediate response.

Regards
Madam Mary Harley.

My Reply 2:

Dear Miss Madame Mary Harley,

I am so glad that you are still alive! It's been a rough weekend for me. I have spent many a sleepless night wondering how I was going to spend all of your dead husband's money. I'm happy that you have chosen me 100% without any reservation, because I really wanted 100% of the money. I would also mention that in this country we don't write "% percent". It's redundant. % = equals percent. I guess it's possible you could have a weird stutter brought on by the stroke, but I think I squandered enough of your precious time on Earth with this already.

I really appreciate you wanting to keep this secret, as I owe money to many of my friends. Although, they’ll probably think something’s up when they see my new 24k gold ashtrays. I'll just tell them I won the money at church bingo. Have you ever played bingo at a snake handling church? You never know if people are jumping out of their seats for bingo or if they were just bit by a copperhead. It's so frustrating!

Unfortunately, since our last email I broke up with the pilot from Lufthansa. However, the good news is that we broke up because he caught me with a pilot from British Airways. So I will be able to fly into London as soon as I sleep with him three more times. He's got me on sort of a frequent fuckers program where I'm awarded miles based on my performance in bed. Blowjobs are 1,500 miles. Intercourse is 3,000. Anal is 5,000. And a handjob will get me an inflight meal.

I do want to give some of the money to Charity. She's my daughter and very less priveldge. She left home when was she was 15 and has been working the streets for the past few years to make ends meet. To be honest, we haven't had the best relationship. She claims that my boyfriend at the time was molesting her, but she can't prove it. I asked her to show me evidence and besides some minor swelling, she didn't have any. Everyone knows that you're raped, you save the semen! I know she's seen CSI, so it's partially her fault anyway.

As I've said, getting to London will not be a problem, but staying there could be an issue. The pilot I'm dating talked about setting up a system where I could trade my Mile High Miles ™ for nights in a hotel with one of his friends, but the paperwork hasn't gone through yet. So would it be possible for me to stay with you? I know it might be awkward with your family, business associates, and evil secret agents around, but as you can probably tell I'm a good at making people feel at ease. I won't let you down!

I am concerned that you went to India for a major medical surgical operation. In addition to being a snake handler, I'm also a part-time Christian Scientist. I believe that if God wants you to be better, he'll do it himself. Maybe you're just not praying hard enough? Although, don't pray too hard, because I really need that money. In fact, India sounds like a good place for you. I hear the mosquitos over there are friendly and love to give you happy kisses.

I know that you are worried about your husband family using the money for immaterial things. I promise you that I will only use it on material items that exist and that I can personally feel and touch. That is my solemn swear to you. You should know that I'm 1 for 2 in previously lying to people on their death bed, which is a great bating average, but horrible ERA.

I also promise that as far as you'll ever know, I'm only going to keep the 15% that you've mentioned. Everything will be done in Godly way for time essence.

My full names are Scamtastic. I live at 145 Maple Ave. Brooklyn, NY 11214. My phone number is 212-389-4483. Please call me after 11PM EST as I work late. I'm not sure what a certificate of deposit is, so please have your attorney let me know. I look forward to meeting both of you.

Gently yours,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply 2:

From: williamsjadome@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Requirements
Date: Wed, 4 Jun 2008 06:28:49 +0000

Attention: Scamtastic

Thanks for your mail 2 Jun 2008.

I would want you to understand that the deposited consignment must first be cleared from the demurrage charges before you can authorise any kind of deduction or addition to the funds. And this will make bank tobank transfer/ courier of the funds to your door post possible.

I wonder why you can not come to Germany to conclude this transaction yourself. It will not take you more than two working days. 5Million Pound Sterling is no small money.

I will issue the letter of introduction and send you the Certificate of Deposit only on the ground that you are ready and willing to clear up the demurrage charges and meet up with all requirements. Once, a letter of introduction is issued, you will then be recognised as the new beneficiary to the deposit.

I will commence with issuance of the letter of Introduction and send the Certificate of Deposit which will make you the new beneficiary as soon as you let me know of your willingness to meetup with the requirements of the security
company like demurrage charges e.t.c.

For the other pending transactions of yours, you are to send me all the details of the transactions, so that I can commence at once.

I await your immediate reponse.

Yours faithfully
Barr. Williams Jadome.

My Reply 3:

Mr. Will Jadome,

To clarify, I never said that I couldn't come to Germany. I said that I was no longer dating the Lufthansa pilot. I'm still with the British Airways pilot. Him and his brother fingercuffed me last night, so I should have about 34,000 Mile High Miles ™ in my account, which should easily get me anywhere I want to go. And I have plenty of vacation saved up at Funbags, the Hooters knockoff where I work, so the two days off won't be a problem either.

As for the 5Million Pound Sterling, I'm not sure how I will get it on the plane as they only allow for 50 pounds per bag. Even if I check two bags I'd still be 4,999,900 pounds short. Also, I only weight 118 pounds, so carrying that much will be a problem. Do you have a hand cart that I could borrow? Let me know if you don't know what that is. I've heard that you call elevators lifts, shopping carts trolleys, and refer to your President as King.

Please send me the Certificate of Deposit and the letter of introduction as soon as possible. My brother-in-law is in a heap of trouble with the law and I need the money to bail him out of jail. He's only 17, but is being tried as an adult, so they put him in prison instead of juvie. I made him a promise that I would bail him out before he got raped too much. So please send me the paperwork before someone forces him to do something unspeakable with his full, pouty lips and tight, hairless bottom.

Let me know if you need any more details.

Gently,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply 3:

From: williamsjadome@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: Should I proceed with the legal documentation?
Date: Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:23:52 +0000

Attention: Scamtastic

Thanks for your mail dated 11th June 2008.

I suggest that you take to the option of online banking since third party will not be attended to by the finance company.

The demurrage charges is only 15,400.00EUR and I will send you payment instruction to at your request.

And also indicate your readiness and willingness to conclude this transaction, so I will send your all the relevant documents and contact details of the paying bank.

Should I proceed with the legal documentation?

I await your prompt response.

Yours faithfully
Barr. Williams Jadome.

My Reply 4:

Mr. Will Jadome,

I don't bank online as I don't want my money to get a computer virus. But I spoke with my brother-in-law last night and he told me that the other prisoners have nicknamed him Jizz Receptacle. I need to get him out of there before he know longer craves the pleasures of womanly flesh. I already told him that we would throw him a Boobie party at Funbags when he gets out. That's where all of the waitresses line up and he gets to run his face down the line while singing, "Boobie party! Boobie party! I love Funbags bobbie parties!" So please send me the payment instructions and legal documentation as soon as possible.

Gently,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply 4:


From: williamsjadome@hotmail.com
Subject: Contact Mr. Jack by phone to ask any question
Date: Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:42:12 +0000

Attention: Scamtastic

Thanks for your mail dated 11th June 2008.

I have this morning commenced work on the legal documentation/ paper work. I shall be send you the letter of reference as soon as you are ready to conclude this transaction.

Here is the contact details of the security company below:

Contact: Jack Moore
Tel: 49 1745356022
Company email: info@sfscompany.com
Personal email: jackmoor2003@yahoo.com

Contact Mr. Jack by phone to ask any question regarding this transaction. Specifically ask him of the exact amount of demurrage charges. You have to call Mr. Jack and get back to me.

I await your prompt response.

Yours faithfully
Barr Williams Jadome

My Reply 5:

Mr. Jack Moore,

Will Jadome told me to contact you and specifically ask for the exact amount of demurrage charges. I'm currently writing this from the computer in my local libary. Unfortunately, I am not able to call, because my phone was disconnected. In a previous email, Mr. Jadome had mentioned that it was 15.400EUR, so in order to save up money I decided not to pay a few bills. I guess my step-daughter Bethany will just have to avoid sugar this month, because it's either my Botox or her insulin injections and her diabetes ain't getting me bigger tips at Funbags. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it once I get the 5Million Pound Sterling!

Please let me know what I need to do to conclude this transaction. Thank you!

Gently,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply 5:

From: Standard finance & Securities (info@sfscompany.com)
Sent: Wed 6/18/08 12:10 PM
Cc: jackmoor2003@yahoo.com

Attention: Scamtastic

I hereby acknowledge your mail dated 16/06/2008.

I would advice your to call me by phone so that we can discuss in details regarding the dmurrage charges and when you will be comimg Hamburg, Germany.

Here are the requirements:

1. Certificate of deposit
2. Letter of Introduction
3. Photograph Identity and
4. Demurrage charges of 15,400.00EUR.

I await your call at Tel: 49 1745356022.

Yours faithfully
Jack Moore

My Reply 6:

Mr. Jack Moore,

I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I got back together with Gunter, the pilot from Lufthansa. Edwin, the British Airways pilot, was trying to charge me a yearly fee for my Mile High Miles ™. He claimed it was clearly written in fine print on my contract, but I signed it after he blew his first load in my face, which made it hard to read. Unfortunately, my miles wouldn't transfer, but Gunter was nice enough to book me a flight to Hamburg leaving next week.

The bad news is that somehow I have contracted a terrible case of throat herpes and my doctor has advised me not to talk for at least two weeks. Because of this, I would like to work out the details through email. I'm sure you understand.

I have all of the items below ready to go and traveler's checks for the 15,400.00EUR. Please let me know where we should meet next week in Hamburg. I arrive on June 25th and will be staying at the Holiday Inn. The address is listed below. I fly back out on June 29th and am hoping to do some sight-seeing and spend some of the money in your fine town before I go. Can you suggest any good places where I could wrap my mouth around some of your local wienerschnitzel?

HOLIDAY INN
BILLWERDER NEUER DEICH 14
HAMBURG, 20539
GERMANY

Gently yours,
Scamtastic

Long lost Cousin Keese

Email Scam:

Date: Sun, 18 May 2008 22:07:47 +0200
From: zjs701@jaguar1.usouthal.edu
Subject: Ref: NL/776090X2/23 (Call to confirm Notification)
Ref: NL/776090X2/23
Batch: 013/06/8394369

We happily announce to you the Draw of the (ELECTRONIK LOTTERY) INTERNATIONAL EMAIL PROMOTION.Your Emailaddress was attached to these lucky winning numbers:03,18,21,24,36, 38 (bonusno.20)

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum payout of $1,500,000(OneMillion Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) payout in Us dollars,in cash credited to file XYL/26510460037/06.

To file for your claim please contact the Lottery Director, with Details Below:

Contact Person: Mr. Keese (my real last name)
Phone Number: 0031-614-797-465
Fax Number : 0031-847-360-271
Contact Email: clmdpt_(my real last name)@yahoo.com.hk

1.FULL NAMES OF BENEFICIARY:
2.RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS:
3.DATE AND PLACE OF BIRTH:
4.PHONE/FAX NUMBERS:
5.NAME AND ADDRESS OF NEXT OF KIN:
6.SEX:
7.OCCUPATION:
8.MARITAL STATUS:
9.NATIONALITY:
10.Ref NUMBER/BATCH NUMBER:
11. AMOUNT WON:

NOTE:
1. You can come down in person to collect your funds here in the Netherlands.
2.Have wired bank to bank transfer.

The Validity period of the winnings is for 7 working days hence you are expected to make your claims immediately, any claim not made before this date will be returned to the MINISTERIO DE ECONOMIA Y HACIENDA.

The society lotteries are managed by Sisson Marketing InternationalLimited,certified by the Gambling Commission ELM Certification 180/3/2.©NetherlandsNational Lottery 2008.

Congratulations once again from all our staff for being a part of our Promotions program.

Dr Van Buren
www.lotto.nl

My Reply:

Keese,

It's so good to hear from you! We haven't spoken since the family reunion. I blame myself. I'm just so bad about keeping in touch with people. And after what happened I didn't know if you still wanted to hear from me anymore. But then I get this letter and WOW! I guess it's all water under the bridge! Are you sure that you won't get in trouble for nepotism?! I don't want you to go to some sort of International Internet prison or something.

The information you requested is below. Why didn't you just fill this out for me? Don't you have most of this info already? I guess I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

1.FULL NAMES OF BENEFICIARY: Scamtastic
2.RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS: 67 Wincrest Ln, Montpelier, VT 05601
3.DATE AND PLACE OF BIRTH: My birthday, Hospital
4.PHONE/FAX NUMBERS: Phone, I don't have a FAX
5.NAME AND ADDRESS OF NEXT OF KIN: Just put yourself down.
6.SEX: Anal
7.OCCUPATION: Big Wall Street Banker
8.MARITAL STATUS: Recently engaged (shhh...it's a secret, we're eloping)
9.NATIONALITY: Italian/Jewish (Pizza bagel!)
10.Ref NUMBER/BATCH NUMBER: Twice daily. I don't assign them numbers
11. AMOUNT WON: 27 million (just kidding, only 1.5 million)

I'm actually going to be in the Netherlands next week. There's a marijuana/hooker convention that I'm guest lecturing at. We should get together. Maybe we can blow some of this new found money and have some fun. Like when we double-teamed your ex-wife at the reunion. She took our pair of dicks like a champ! That noise she made when we both bottomed out still haunts me though.

Anyway, say hi to Aunt Mary for me. Thanks again for the cash!

Your cousin,
Scamtastic

Scammer of '69

Email Scam:

Subject: CONTACT DELIVERY DEPARTMENT
Date: Wed, 14 May 2008 22:17:41 +0100
IDENTIFICATION NUMBER:XPEL/PKL/9876.

Dear winner,
How are you doing today? I am in receipt of your e-mail and I must say that you should count yourself extremely lucky to have emerged as one of our winners in this year's lucky dip sweepstakes. As you already know your email address was randomly selected along with others from over 125,600 website on the internet. Each email address was attached to a ticket number. Your email address was selected along with others as winners. A certificate of prize claims and some vital documents will be sent along side your winnings check. The documents to be sent are;

1..WINNING CERTIFICATE FROM UK LOTTERY SWEEPSTAKE PROMOTIONS.
2. WINNERS CHEQUE FOR THE VALUE OF ONE MILLION EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS STERLING
3.CLEAR SOURCE OF FUNDS CERTIFICATE (C.S.F.C.),
4.CERTIFICATES OF ORIGIN OF FUND (C.O.F.).

Contact me with the contact information below for further instructions on how to send the consignment to your location. Please you should also send your full details to the courier firm with the below details via email to authenticate your lottery winnings. Below is the contact details of the delivery agent you are to forward your full details to them via email.

COURIER SERVICE: Frontier Courier Service
E-MAIL: frontiercourier14@yahoo.com
TEL:+44-703 194 6230
FAX:+44 702 205 5958

Have it in mind that your won prize cannot be deducted from; this is because the total amount has been insured to the real value. This is in accordance with section 13(1)(n) of the national gambling act as adopted in 1993 and amended on 3RD July 1996 by the constitutional assembly.

I will require a concise update on proceedings with the firm as soon as you are in contact with them. If you need any assistance whatsoever, please do not hesitate to let me know. And I do hope you will consider me for a little bonus after you have received your winnings.

Regards,
MR BRIAN H ADAMS

My Reply:

Dear Brian Adams,

First off, I'm doing fine. Secondly, I've only recently started using the Internet and have probably only been to a few hundred of the Internet's 125,600 website. In fact, I didn't even realize that website could be used as a singular or a plural like sheep or meese. Tertiary, you mentioned that "your won prize cannot be deducted from". Dedecuted from what? Do you routinely have people asking to reduce the amount of their winnings over in England? Even though we seem to speak the same language (apart you calling policemen bobbies) we definitely have different ideas on winning prizes. In fact, being an American, if you offered me more money, I'd probably take it. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Quarterly, my life partner recently had a stroke and I'd like to think that she/he talked to the big man upstairs about letting me win this money. Quintupley, I just wanted to tell you how much I loved the "Summer of 69". I don't know if you can see it, but I just winked into my webcam, because I know what you meant when you wrote that song. Dirty bird! Although at my age, I don't think I could do that kind of thing anymore, do to my severe scoliosis. Luckily I can still wank myself off (that's British for a slapping the bald-headed cyclops, right?) Sexily, I will consider you for a "little bonus" after I receive my winnings. And no, I don't think it was too forward of you to ask. I like someone who's not scared to ask for what they want. And if you're good, you might get more than just a little bonus. And I know you know what I mean, because of the whole "69" thing that we spoke about earlier in the last few sentences. Sevenzees, send me the infotainment and I'll drop it it my malebox. (I winked at my webcam again.) I'm buying you a webcam with my winnings.

Peace and love and shit and kisses,
Scamtastic

I was right again, Donna!

Email Scam:

Subject: YOU HAVE WON £1,850,000
CONTACT {fiduciarybrian2007@hotmail.com}
Date: Sun, 11 May 2008 12:45:44 -0500
From: kristen.myford@my.monroeville.westernschool.edu

WINNING NOTIFICATION:
We happily announce to you the Online promo result of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on 5th May 2008 in London, UNITED-KINGDOM. Your e-mail address attached to Serial number 5368/02,lucky number 6-10-11-19-22-46-40 won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e. match 5. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £1,850,000( One Million Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand POUNDS STERLING) in cash, credited to file ktu/9023118308/03. This is from a total ash prize of £18,745,605 Pounds, shared amongst the first thirteen (13) lucky winners in this category of all world wide email address in the Microsoft and commerce database used for the draw. To file for your claim, please contact our claims agent With the below details(HLP FORM); Official: Brian Adams ( Mr.)

Email:fiduciarybrian2007@hotmail.com
Tel:+44 70457 27840
+44 70457 27841

1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:

Yours Truly,
KRISTEN MYFORD.
Co-ordinator(Online Promo Programme]

My Reply:

Mr. Brian Fiduciary,

Thanks for contacting me. I have known for a while that I was special and, if I waited long enough, would one day be rewarded for it. Well it looks like I was right again, Donna!

All those people who said I would never amount to anything back in high school, never thought that one day an Internet would be invented and that an International Lottery would be setup (that you don't even have to enter!) where the kind people of England (a country I have never visited!) would grant me a large sum of money just for having an email address (which I'm sure they also never thought would be invented!).

And just yesterday Donna told me to "Shut the fuck up." So as a funny joke I said, "I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard that." Well now I do, silly bitch!

I filled out the form below and included additional information so I could get the money quicker.

1.Full Name: Scamtastic
2.Full Address: 38 Lake Dr., New York, NY 10001
3.Marital Status: Unhappily married to Donna
4.Occupation: Stay at home Dad/Pimpzilla
5.Age: 42
6.Sex: Penis
7.Nationality: Finnish/Nigerian (I'm a Finger!)
8.Country Of Residence: United States of Awesome
9.Telephone Number: 212-389-2938
10. Social Security Number: 014-384-2893
11. Bank Account Number: Wamu 10329301-011
12. Mother's Maiden Name: Toweleen

Your pal on the Information Superhighway (honk, honk!).
Scamtastic

I regret to inform you...

Email Scam:

Date: Thu, 8 May 2008 11:28:58 -0700
From: cvega47@racsa.co.cr
Subject: online Sweepstakes

The British International Lottery
P O BOX 1010
LIVERPOOL, L70 1N
UNITED KINGDOM
(Customer Services)
Ref No: UK/9420X2/68
Batch No: 074/05/ZY369

WINNING NOTIFICATION
We happily announce to you the draw (#2401) of the UK INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on 7th May, 2008.

Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/06 drew the lucky numbers: 27-17-04-29-21-19 (bonus no.20), which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 5 plus bonus. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £500,000 (Five hundred thousand pounds sterling) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. To file for your claim, please contact our Fudiciary Agent with the information below:
Name:Mr Newton Brown
Email:boardtrust_claimsagent1@yahoo.co.uk
Tel:0044-702-402-1823

You are to provide the claims agent with the under
listed information as soon as possible:
1.FULL NAMES:..............................
2.DATE OF BIRTH:..........................
3.SEX:.....................................
4.MARITAL STATUS:......................
5.CONTACT ADDRESS:...................
6.COUNTRY:.................................
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:................
8.OCCUPATION:.............................
9.AMOUNT WON:..........................

Congratulations once more.

Faithfully,
Mr. Carlos Alberto.
Zone Co-ordinator

My Reply:

Mr. Brown:

I regret to inform you that Scamtastic has died. As his attorney and family friend, I would like to claim his prize for his grieving children. I hope his untimely death does not make his win null and void as his son, Bobby, desperately needs an apendix transplant. His appendix spontaneously burst when he heard that his father died and he will die if we don't find a replacement soon. I'm sure this money will go a long way to helping us find a suitable donor. Bobby's vestigial tail will wag again if I have anything to do with it!!! Huzzah!

I've filled out the form below. If you need any further information, please don't hesitate to ask Scamtastic when you see him in hell.

1.FULL NAMES:.............................. Scamtastic
2.DATE OF BIRTH:.......................... 12/3/67
2A. DATE OF DEATH:...................... 5/6/08
3.SEX:..................................... Yes, please
4.MARITAL STATUS:...................... Til death did he part
5.CONTACT ADDRESS:................... scamtastic.blogspot.com
6.COUNTRY:.................................USA! USA! USA!
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:................ 818-394-3090
8.OCCUPATION:............................. The ground
9.AMOUNT WON:.......................... £500,000 (Five hundred thousand pounds sterling)
9A. AM I FUCKING HIS WIFE?:........ Yes

Cordially,
Alton Sugar Esq.

(dictated, but not read)

Now I can get divorced!

Email Scam:

Subject: Ticket no: 56475600545 188
Date: Thu, 8 May 2008 02:36:03 -0600
From: cmiller@utep.edu

Dear Winner,
Winning Notification
This is to notify you that you have won £850,000.00 in our online email lottery in which e-mail addresses are picked randomly by computerised balloting, powered by the Internet. Your email address was amongst those chosen for this period.
Ticket no: 56475600545 188
Serial no: 5368/02
Winning number: 08.11.21.32.35.42. {47}
Draw (#1187)

Yours faithfully,
Dr. Lorraine M.Dodds

My Reply:

Dear Dr. Ms. Dodds,

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! My husband and me had an argunment yesterday about buying this 62" TV on QVC. I'm sick and tired of buying one a week before the Super Bowl and then having to return it a week later! He says we can't afford it and that I have a shopping addiction, but who's laughing now DUMBASS! I just got off the phone with the lady and she said it will be here in a few days. Won't he be surprised we he sees it! Then I'll tell him about the divorce. I cant wait to see his face!!! In fact, I'm going to fuck that nice Mexico guy next door who's always looking at me. I guess Stan's right, they will eventually take our jobs! Hand jobs!!!

Also, what does that little £ mean? That's real money, right?

By the power of the Internet,
Scamtastic

Luckiest person on the planet.

Email Scam:

Subject: with due respect, response needed
From: grace ochiaka (grace_ochiaka2@hotmail.com)

Sent: Mon 7/10/06 4:22 AM

To: balltee@aol.com

I am Mrs. Grace Ochiaka. An administrative top management secretary with the Central bank of Nigeria. I am in alliance with the Deputy-Governor: Sir Tunde Lemo. To Move a chunk of money in ($15M) fifteen million united states dollars, out of the vault of the Cbn although legally.

The money was owned by a customer who had longed died and couldn't get traces of anyone to claim his money, despite desperate search for a next of kin.

The rules and ethics of our banking regulations demands that, after 4yrs of unclaimed funds (money) the money would be forfeited to the cbn and declared surplus.

Since I am the secretary to the Deputy Governor who is in charge of this unclaimed money, we are ready to effect the payment of the money to you as a foreigner who we would present as a next of kin or a business associate of the fellow.

This is risk free as all legal backings are present and would be detailed to you on when we are certian and you give us the certainty that we can have a friend and trust in you.

You would be handsomely rewarded with 30% of the total sum.

Needing your immediate response. You can call the Deputy Governor on:
+ 234 1 850 3684. Sir: Tunde Lemo: Email:

Regards,
Grace E. Ochiaka
grace_ochiaka2@hotmail.com
You can as well respond via:
graceochiaka@graceochiaka.com

My Reply:

Ms. Ochiaka:

Yes, I would be interested. Very interested!!! And believe it or not, this is the second time this has happened to me! The first time it was on $12 million, but I can't really complain when I'm emailing this from my yacht in the South Pacific. Oh my God, a dolphin just jumped out of the water and winked at me. I must be the luckiest person on the planet!

And the funny thing is that I never really liked the people of Nigeria before. I mean Ghana and Congo, those are countries! A noble people striving to make good. I can respect that. But Nigeria, no way! Up until you guys gave me the $12 mil I had a bumper sticker on my car that said, "I brake for everyone, except Nigerians." But you people really know a guy's soft spot. So yeah, I'll help you out with the $15 mil. Email me the paperwork and between martinis and the three Thai whores that I pay to service me, I'll get around to signing them.

Much love,
Scamtastic

Burning in hell...

Email Scam:

Subject: PERSONAL
From: Mr Ken Hada (haady_ken@hotmail.com)

Sent: Wed 7/05/06 12:18 PM

To: (Unknown)

DEAR TRUSTED FRIEND,

MY NAME IS HADA KEN, PERSONAL ASSISTANT TO LATE MR LARRY BALDRIDGEJR.I AM WRITTING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF EURO CREDIT AND LOANS (MR. LARRY BALDRIDGE JR OF UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WHO PERISHED IN THE PLANE CRASH ON 2001[ON BOARD ALASKA AIRLINES FLIGHT 261.] WITH OTHER PASSENGERS.

SINCE THE DEMISE OF MR. LARRY BALDRIDGE JR, I PERSONALLY HAVE WATCHED WITH KEEN INTEREST TO SEE THE NEXT OF KIN BUT ALL HAS PROVED ABORTIVE AS NO ONE HAS COME TO CLAIM HIS FUNDS WHICH HAS BEEN WITH THIS BANK HERE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.ON THIS NOTE I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOM HIS NAME SHALL BE USED AS THE NEXT OF KIN,AS NO ONE HAS COME UP TO PUT CLAIM AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THIS FUNDS AND THE BANKING ETHICS HERE DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH MONEY TO STAY MORE THAN FIVE YEARS,BECAUSE AFTER FOUR YEARS THE MONEY WILL BE CALLED BACK TO THE BANK TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED BILL.

I N VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT OVER THE INTERNET I WAS CONVINCED IN MY MIND THAT YOUR NAME COULD BE USED AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THIS CLAIM. THE REQUEST OF A FOREIGNER AS A NEXT OF KIN IN THIS BUSINESS IS OCCASIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND A BRITISH CANNOT STAND AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO A FOREIGNER.

I AGREED THAT 30% OF THIS MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS A FOREIGN PARTNER IN RESPECT OF PROVIDING AN ACCOUNT WHILE 10% WILL TAKE OF ANY EXPENSES THAT MIGHT BE INCURED IN THE PROCEES OF SUCCEEDING THE TRANSFER AND THE REST WILL BE FOR ME AND MY INSIDER IN THE BANK.THEREAFTER I WILL VISIT YOUR COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS HITCH FREE AND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY FEAR AS THE WHOLE REQUIRED ARRANGEMENT AS BEEN PERFECTED FOR THE TRANSFER.

FURTHERMORE, AS HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANCE,I HAVE ACCESS TO SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS THAT WILL FACILITATE THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND.HOWEVER,MY PARTNER IN THE BANK WILL ALSO BE THERE TO FURNISH ME WITH OTHER VITAL INFORMATION.

HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

BEST REGARDS,
MR HADA KEN

My Reply:

Mr. Ken

That's great! I'm so excited, because I could really use the money. This came at such a good time! You see, my brother has caught a bad case of the cancer and desperately needs an operation that I cannot afford. I knew Jesus would come through for me!!! You are a truly blessed individual. Whatever the opposite of burning in Hell is, I'm sure that's what you'll be doing in Heaven some day. Please let me know how I can get you the money that you need as fast as possible as the stupid pills I've just taken are about to wear off.

Yours in Christ,
Scamtastic

If you can't beat 'em...

Email Scam:

Subject: Contact(claimsunit@uknlpromo.org)
Date: Thu, 5 Jun 2008 08:10:13 -0600
From: Lorie.Saubleotto@unco.edu

Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369
UK-LOTTO Headquarters:
The Marina Offices,
St Peters Yacht Basin,
Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 1HX England

WINNING NOTIFICATION:
We happily announce to you the draw (#1199) of the UK NATIONAL LOTTERY,Online Sweepstakes Program held on 1st October, 2007 in NEWCASTLE, UNITED-KINGDOM. Your e-mail address attached to ticket no.: 56475600545 188 with Serial no. 5368/02 drew the lucky no.which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 6. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £850,000.00 (Eight Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds) in cash, credited to file ktu/9023118308/03. This is from a total cash prize of £ 3. 6 Million pounds, shared amongst the first Four (4) lucky winners in this category.

All participants for this online version were selected randomly from World Wide Web sites through computer draw system and extracted from over 100,000 unions, associations, and corporate bodies that are listed online. This promotion takes place weekly. Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in Europe as indicated in your play coupon. In view of this, your £850,000 (Eight hundred and fifty thousand pounds) will be released to you by any of our payment offices in Europe. Our European agent will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him. For security reasons, you are advised to keep your winning information confidential ill your claim is processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to receive your prize. This is part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. Please be warned!! To file for your claim, contact our fiduciary agent:

Mr Robert Hache Tell:+447031934212 Email: claimsunit@uknlpromo.org
www.nationallottery.co.uk/player/p/results/results.do

Congratulations once again from all members and staff of this program. Thank you for being part of our promotional lottery programs.

Yours faithfully,
Lorraine Dodds
Online coordinator for UK NATIONAL LOTTERY Sweepstakes International
Copyright © 1994-2007 The UK National Lottery Inc.
All rights reserved. Terms of Service - Guidelines

My Reply:

Robert,

Let's be honest with each other. I know this is a scam. However, I'm not going to report you or anything. I'm actually interested in finding out how it's done, because I would like to do it myself. Think of me as a franchisee. You tell me how to perpetrate the scam and in exchange I will give you 10% of any and all monies that I make from it. You don't have to do any work besides sitting back and collecting the money. It's win-win!

If you are interested, please read my conditions below:

1. You will need to fly to New York so we can meet. I'm not interested in going into business with anyone who I haven't met and know I can trust. Your flight and hotel will NOT be paid for, but I can assure you that I am a go-getter and you'll make that money back tenfold in a few short weeks.
2. I need you to promise to keep this secret. My wife still thinks I am employed and she will leave me if she finds out that I am involved in this.
3. I will need your bank information to transmit the 10% of my earnings.

I've gotten a few of these scams already this week, so you should reply soon as I will begin narrowing down the applicants shortly. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Scamtastic

Scam Reply:

From: Robert Hache (mulv69@yahoo.com)
Sent: Thu 6/12/08 12:20 PM
Reply-to: roberthache16@googlemail.com

Dear Winner,
Congratulations once again from all the staff here. In order to verify your winnings, we need your particulars for record purposes, Attached here is a copy of our verifications form, please fill accordingly so as to proceed with your winnings. Once again congratulations from all the staff.

VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM

1.FULL NAMES:__________________________________
2.ADDRESS:_____________________________________
____________________________________________
3.SEX:_______________
4.AGE:________
5.MARITAL STATUS:___________________
6.OCCUPATION:________________________
7.E-MAIL ADDRESS:_____________________________
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________
9.LOTTO NUMBER:____03 11 12 41 46 47 20 {BONUS BALL}
B. DRAW NUMBER:__1293____________
10.TICKET NUMBER:___56475600545 188
11.SERIAL NUMBER:_____5368/02
12.BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF COMPANY/INDIVIDUAL___________
13.AMOUNT WON:___________________________
14. STATE:__________________________________
15. COUNTRY________________________________

Upon receipt of the duly requested data, I will send you the contact information of the payment office so you can proceed with effecting the release of your claim in anyway you deem fit.

Warm Regards,
Robert Hache (Mr)
+447031934212

My Reply 2:

Mr. Hache:

Thanks for replying with a ridiculous form letter. If this is your idea of how to scam people, then I'm not sure if I still want to go into business with you. In fact, I'm beginning to think that you didn't even read my proposal. Or is this just your twisted idea of a negotiating tactic? Let's dispense with the bullshit. You teach me the REAL scam, the one that actually works, and I will raise your profits to 12% of everything that I earn. Deal?

Also, when do you think you'll be able to fly into New York? Please call me at 206-350-6981 to discuss the details.

You should know that another scammer is flying in from Nigeria next week. His name is Ibrahim and he sounds very professional. He told me that I'd be able to earn about $15,400EUR a month with his scam. What does yours typically pay out? You're still in the running, but only by the skin of your teeth.

Let's do this thing,
Scamtastic