I regret to inform you...

Email Scam:

Date: Thu, 8 May 2008 11:28:58 -0700
From: cvega47@racsa.co.cr
Subject: online Sweepstakes

The British International Lottery
P O BOX 1010
LIVERPOOL, L70 1N
UNITED KINGDOM
(Customer Services)
Ref No: UK/9420X2/68
Batch No: 074/05/ZY369

WINNING NOTIFICATION
We happily announce to you the draw (#2401) of the UK INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY,online Sweepstakes International program held on 7th May, 2008.

Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:56475600545 188 with Serial number 5368/06 drew the lucky numbers: 27-17-04-29-21-19 (bonus no.20), which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category i.e match 5 plus bonus. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of £500,000 (Five hundred thousand pounds sterling) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. To file for your claim, please contact our Fudiciary Agent with the information below:
Name:Mr Newton Brown
Email:boardtrust_claimsagent1@yahoo.co.uk
Tel:0044-702-402-1823

You are to provide the claims agent with the under
listed information as soon as possible:
1.FULL NAMES:..............................
2.DATE OF BIRTH:..........................
3.SEX:.....................................
4.MARITAL STATUS:......................
5.CONTACT ADDRESS:...................
6.COUNTRY:.................................
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:................
8.OCCUPATION:.............................
9.AMOUNT WON:..........................

Congratulations once more.

Faithfully,
Mr. Carlos Alberto.
Zone Co-ordinator

My Reply:

Mr. Brown:

I regret to inform you that Scamtastic has died. As his attorney and family friend, I would like to claim his prize for his grieving children. I hope his untimely death does not make his win null and void as his son, Bobby, desperately needs an apendix transplant. His appendix spontaneously burst when he heard that his father died and he will die if we don't find a replacement soon. I'm sure this money will go a long way to helping us find a suitable donor. Bobby's vestigial tail will wag again if I have anything to do with it!!! Huzzah!

I've filled out the form below. If you need any further information, please don't hesitate to ask Scamtastic when you see him in hell.

1.FULL NAMES:.............................. Scamtastic
2.DATE OF BIRTH:.......................... 12/3/67
2A. DATE OF DEATH:...................... 5/6/08
3.SEX:..................................... Yes, please
4.MARITAL STATUS:...................... Til death did he part
5.CONTACT ADDRESS:................... scamtastic.blogspot.com
6.COUNTRY:.................................USA! USA! USA!
7.TELEPHONE NUMBER:................ 818-394-3090
8.OCCUPATION:............................. The ground
9.AMOUNT WON:.......................... £500,000 (Five hundred thousand pounds sterling)
9A. AM I FUCKING HIS WIFE?:........ Yes

Cordially,
Alton Sugar Esq.

(dictated, but not read)